Anyone in a relationship knows one thing to be true of texting. It's the devil. Okay, that may be a little harsh, but texting often has a negative impact on so many couples. Texting leaves much up for interpretation, and we often fill in the blanks. Whether it be the dreaded "k" text, or "whatever", we tend to be more rash with our texting than we are in real life.
As a therapist, I cannot even count how many couples pull out their phones during a session to read a long log of texting brawls between the two of them. We've all been there. We've all been guilty of fighting over text. I've seen many couples not even text throughout the day for fear of waking the texting beast.
This wave of toxic texting has consumed couples all over. Let's take texting back. Reclaim it. Texting doesn't have to be some horror show or a running lists of complaints you have about your partner. While I know this is a mountainous journey for some of you. Let's take the first step towards reclaiming your texting relationship.
Instead of barking out honey-do lists or weekly complaints, be positive. I know it sounds way easier said than done. I'm with you. I'm fully aware that saying something "nice" to your spouse through text is a foreign concept for many of us. I'll make you a deal, here's a cheat sheet to help out a little.
1. "I appreciate all the hard work you have done for this family lately." - Your working hard. Your spouse is working hard. Sometimes we miss the opportunity to thank your partner for their contribution to the family.
2. "You're the reason I'm excited to come home tonight." - Let your partner know that you look forward to seeing them. We often get so stuck into routine that coming home is just something we do. Coming home should be a re-connection.
3."Thanks for always being you." - Let your partner know you like them unconditionally. We forget that sometimes.
4."You're always inspiring me to be a better me." - Show your partner that they are influencing you for the good, while letting them know your always working on bettering yourself.
5. "I love you." - While this one seems like a no-brainer, we often don't text this out of the blue. Never make your partner assume your love.
Brittany Malak, MA, LMFT
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