New Years Resolutions To strenghten any marriage.
Whether 2016 was a year of joy and bliss for your marriage, or if you'd rather put the foul memories of 2016 out of your head, we can all look to the New Year for a fresh start to not only ourselves, but our relationships with others. Before starting the newest crash diet trend or splurge on that fancy gym membership you never use, spend this New Year's investing in your relationships with others, and more importantly, the relationship with your significant other.
Tired of a list of New Year's Resolutions you never seem to get around to? Feeling guilty that you never really do lose those 10lbs? Just stop it. Here are Five oh-so-doable New Year's Resolutions that can grow, and yes even SAVE, your marriage.
1. Spend One Hour a Week Invested ONLY in Your Spouse.
Yes, I know you may be feeling dooped, but I promise this is completely do-able. I cannot stress the importance of dedicating personal time to your spouse. In a world of chaos and disconnect it can be challenging to spare a moment for yourself, let alone anyone else. How to get around this? Same way you do everything else. Schedule it. Hold a time that is scared each week, for ONE HOUR. Hold on to this appointment like you would any other necessary appointment that you might have to wait four months if you canceled before you can get another appointment. Spend this time with the TV off, your cell preferably lost, and your eyes focused on your spouse. Does this already seem too scary and unbearable? I believe you can do it, but if you MUST, start off with any time increment you can handle. Five minutes? So be it. But it better happen. Invest in your parnter's life. Find out how their week has been going. Find out what they hope to accomplish this week. Share your gratitude for them putting up with you even though you've been cranky about staying with your family over the holidays. Whatever it is let you partner know that they are your number one priority.
2. Kiss Your Partner + Not Just When Your HAVE To.
Yes, we are all great about hello's and goodbye's, but I'm talking about the random kisses. Show your partner you love them through physical touch at the most unexpected times. The most mundane times. The most exciting times. All the time. We often become distant as we grow in our relationships and forget that our partners need reassurance that we have their backs and appreciate who they are and that we still think they are the hottest thing on the planet. Kissing isn't your thing? Sure. A gentle nudge, squeeze, poke, or hug will suffice. As humans we are naturally calmed while engaging in physical affection with another human being. It's science. Why not help your partner relax a little bit this New Year with more kisses.
3. Ditch Work. Plan a Staycation.
We all dream of a romantic getaway on some deserted island. Don't get me wrong, that's probably great for building your relationship and relaxing your soul, but let's get real, no one can afford that. In light of your other New Year's Resolutions to save money, plan a cozy staycation with your spouse. Who needs to get stuck at the airport when their flight is delayed. No worries when you plan a getaway in your home. Call of work, hire someone to clean the house & hardwork, kick your feet up and relax with your spouse. Play board games. Binge-watch Netflix. Laugh about old memories. Share in this experience with your spouse and get back to the basics. Relish in what you already have in your life together and enjoy it.
While these are great small resolutions, these will give your relationship a soid foundation and that spark that you may have been looking for. So invest in something that won't be the latest fad, but invest in your relationship and ultimately your future. Trust me it's worth it.
Brittany Malak, LMFT